Governor Kitzhaber’s performance Friday at a presser (video below) called to do damage control after reports surfaced, and his girlfriend subsequently confirmed, she made money trading on her role as ‘First “Lady”‘and didn’t report it.

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Kitzhaber pleading with reporters to believe he’s not ‘trying to be like Marshawn Lynch or anything, but…’ he can’t answer questions.

Though he owes the citizens of Oregon answers, he called the presser Friday morning to stage a little political theater and to pretend to answer questions. And though we did glean a bit of information from Kitzhaber (he doesn’t regret getting together with her, he doesn’t know if he lives with her), he mostly pulled a Marshawn Lynch, “I’m just here so I don’t get fined.”

Kitzhaber brought up the Seahawks running back in his remarks in answer to a question by Lars Larson, “I don’t want to sound like Marshawn Lynch, but as I’ve said before…”

While both people hate the media, there’s a big difference between Lynch and Kitzhaber: Lynch isn’t trying to hide anything.

Here a few things we learned during this most awkward presser:

This exchange between Willamette Week’s Nigel Jacquiss and the Governor encapsulates why he’s in trouble:

Jacquiss: Governor, have you ever used the authority of your office or attended a meeting to benefit Cylvia Hayes’s career?
Kitz: No.
Jacquiss: Ok, so 2013 you went to Bhutan with Lou Baily from Demos. For the preceding year, you and Cylvia Hayes had been in close contact with Beemos and Lou Baily. You went to Bhutan in the middle of a legislative session. When you returned, Demos awarded Cylvia Hayes a contract. So are you sure that you didn’t go to Bhutan to benefit her career.
Kitz: (Smirks) I’m absolutely sure.
Jacquiss: How can you say that?
Kitz: It’s very easy. I’m absolutely sure ..
crosstalk
Jacquiss: You went to Bhutan, lending the credibility of your name and the credibility of your office to Demos and they rewarded Cylvia with a contract..
Kitz: So, you can draw that conclusion. I suppose the Ethics Commission will take a look at this. Well, but let’s talk about …

Robert Kennedy. That’s right. He changed the subject to talk about Robert Kennedy and how he became involved and enthralled with Beemos during a speech by Robert Kennedy at the University of Kansas in 1968 (he says this searching the room to see if picking up what he’s throwing down).

Changing the subject is the only thing he’s got going for him. Who knows, the compliant press just might let him get away with it. 

*He didn’t actually say this, though he did invoke Lynch’s name and the episode where he said this.

*This post has been updated to reflect the correct name of the company from which Hayes received money, perks in exchange for government jobs.