Let’s take a look at the source of their humor, shall we?

Here’s what the AP and Longview Police Chief said happened to six guards during the illegal rampage by union thugs:

Six guards were detained for a couple of hours after at least 500 Longshoremen broke down gates about 4:30 a.m. and smashed windows in the guard shack, said Longview Police Chief Jim Duscha. He called the detained guards “hostages.”

Photo courtesy Rainview @ Rainier

The spokesman for the union, Craig Merrilees, now says authorities have walked back that characterization but there’s been no correction from the AP or statement from the cop shop that I’ve seen thus far to support that claim.

On Friday the Cowlitz County Sheriff characterized what happened on Thursday like this:

Also of great concern was the perception of safety by the security personnel on scene. After seeing all the cars and people massing, then pouring through their gates, smashing out the guardshack window with a baseball bat, and causing damage, the officers had no way out. They were blocked from leaving down E. Mill Road, and there was no other open access out of the facility. At some point they felt that their personal safety was at too great a risk, and they ran for a vehicle and headed towards a back gate. They reported that a group tried to block them in, but the lights of approaching law enforcement vehicles stopped the group and the officers were able to flee.

He doesn’t use the word ‘hostage” but the guard were “concerned for their personal safety” and couldn’t get out. The Sheriff did add one thing, however: a CARJACKING!

One of the most frightening parts of the incident was when several saboteures [sic], blocked a Columbia Security officer, (a 48 year old Longview man)dragged [sic] him out of his security patrol vehicle, took the vehicle and after recklessly driving it around the EGT facility, crashed it into an embankment. “This is no different than if it had happened on the street, or in the parking lot of any local business.” Sheriff Nelson said. “It was a felonious act.”

Nevertheless that isn’t stopping Merrilees from having a bit of a laugh at the expense of terrorized EGT guards.

PHOTO CREDIT AP

And then incredulously, Merrilees goes on to blame their fearfulness on their “lack of experience” and “low pay.”

See, if those guards had been paid more and on the job longer the hostage taking wouldn’t have been nearly as terrifying. 

These guys are just a laugh riot! Some joke, huh?